RODENT WATCH SEPTEMBER 27 2015

IN RODENT NEWS: At approximately 3:30 AM a three legged cat (grey, long bodied, dark paws) is seen crossing 19th avenue at Union. Feline is in no rush to cross the empty street and takes me by surprise on my bicycle. Though technically not a rodent, said cat was notable as it had three legs and was PROBABLY hunting rodents in the bask of the (almost) full moon... 8:00 AM: A rather fit looking rat (young adult? on a jog?) is spotted in a stairwell on 15th avenue. Rat does not reappear during the morning though it has been named "Ramon". 8:30 AM: News of a DEN MOTHER rat run rampant through my work place. Said rat is said to be 18 inches long, dirty, mean and old. Allegedly living upstairs behind racks of spices and barbeque sauce...Though I find myself overwhelmed with curiosity/fear, I have doubts that my co-worker (we will call him Eli) is being truthful about the size of the DEN MOTHER. SHE HAS TEETH LIKE NAIL FILES AND THE BRISTLY HAIR OF AN OLD SOW. DEATHS: Two flattened squirrels. SICKNESS: My chicken, Red, has a swollen Crop and is under supervision.